Independence

I've always prided myself on being a very independent person. I managed to raise 2 children, work full time and attend school full time all in the same time period, alone. I'm very proud of my accomplishments and how I did it all "on my own". I love the fact that if I want to go out, I don't need to check with someone to see if it's ok; I can make decisions on my own without having to get a consensus. It never occurred to me, that there was any other way of life; this is just the way it's always been. And then, there was this past weekend.
Won't go into detail about the weekend, that's for another blog. But I did have the opportunity to do a lot of people watching. Couples, inparticular. For the most part, they looked happy. They were sharing something; not just a fun time, but each other's company. I think I may want that. However, I don't want to lose my independence. I know, I know; it's possible to have both. I have so many friends to share all my happy and sad times with. I wouldn't give that up for the world. But it feels like something is missing.
Maybe I'm just feeling sorry for myself. Maybe it's the fact that I'm going to be a Bubbe soon and it makes me realize that I'm not getting any younger. Maybe I'm just tired and I think too much when I'm tired. Maybe I'm just too damn independent to know better.

p.s- I know I don't look anything like this woman, I only wish I did.