Banana Splits - The Ultimate Intro!

When I Was a Kid....

I Can't Sleep...

I toss and turn
thinking of you
and how I wish you were here.

I wonder how it would feel to be in your arms
holding you next to me
smiling as we look into each other eyes.

The song comes on the radio
and it paints a picture
of the night I dream about

And as I finally drift off to sleep
you are with me
and I am happy

Word of the Week

I apologize for not having a word of the week last week, but my liver, as well as the rest of my body was recovering from an incredibly fun weekend with friends in Orlando. So without further ado, here is the latest installment:

penury : a cramping and oppressive lack of resources (as money); especially : severe poverty

As I mentioned above and in an previous blog, I spent last weekend at a "Girls Disney Daze" with my 2 friends, Laura and Jaime. Now I know many of you must be thinking, "How much fun can 3 adults have at a kids theme park?" I'm here to tell you, quite a bit. Somehow, the 3 of us managed to make a G-rated adventure almost X-rated. The laughter never seemed to end; from my inane fear of ducks and trucks, to Laura's "diddling" of Disney characters, to Jaime's orgasmic words on all rides scary, it was an absolute hoot. After the last intense and emotional 6 weeks of work, it was just what I needed. A great time was had by all. Now it's time to hunker down and prepare for a long summer of moving, a season of football, and then the holiday's which will bring me to my next adventure, Blogger's Cruise v2.0. For this, I am trying very hard to make that damn number on the scale change; I'd like to see it decrease by about 20 numbers. Prepare for more blogs on this subject over the next 8 months and 2 weeks.

I now begin a great penuary as I begin to prepare for the move to my new home. All my finances will be focused on deposits for electricity, internet and cable, as well as finding a dining room table. I love my new home as it is absolutely perfect for me. It's a small 2 bedroom house, with a nice sized great room. The second bedroom will be for Gavin when he comes to visit. It has a screened in back patio, a large fenced in yard for Max, and a deck for entertaining. It's my first house that is just for me. I moved from my parental home, to various apartments with roommates, living with a husband and then children, then just children, then another husband and children, with my mother (when I got sick) with children, and back to living with just my mom. I'm very excited about being on my own for the first time in my life (see Blog "Independence"). I spent all of today beginning the arduous chore of packing up my present home, a very large 9 room house. This is going to be a great undertaking. Even though I am not moving until the middle of July, I would like to have everything packed by the end of June, as I am hoping to be "hitting the road" for work in July. So much for great timing.

Stay tuned for more adventure as the summer of fun begins....

"Thank You" Is Not Enough...

..but I am passionate about the words. For those who are serving, have served and have given their life, I thank you.

Independence

I've always prided myself on being a very independent person. I managed to raise 2 children, work full time and attend school full time all in the same time period, alone. I'm very proud of my accomplishments and how I did it all "on my own". I love the fact that if I want to go out, I don't need to check with someone to see if it's ok; I can make decisions on my own without having to get a consensus. It never occurred to me, that there was any other way of life; this is just the way it's always been. And then, there was this past weekend.
Won't go into detail about the weekend, that's for another blog. But I did have the opportunity to do a lot of people watching. Couples, inparticular. For the most part, they looked happy. They were sharing something; not just a fun time, but each other's company. I think I may want that. However, I don't want to lose my independence. I know, I know; it's possible to have both. I have so many friends to share all my happy and sad times with. I wouldn't give that up for the world. But it feels like something is missing.
Maybe I'm just feeling sorry for myself. Maybe it's the fact that I'm going to be a Bubbe soon and it makes me realize that I'm not getting any younger. Maybe I'm just tired and I think too much when I'm tired. Maybe I'm just too damn independent to know better.

p.s- I know I don't look anything like this woman, I only wish I did.

Word of the Week...

I'm posting the word of the week early this week, as I know I will not be able to post tomorrow. Wouldn't want all of you to miss out on this very important blog...LOL

quixotic :foolishly impractical especially in the pursuit of ideals; especially : marked by rash lofty romantic ideas or extravagantly chivalrous action

It must be the Aries in me, for this word seems to fit me perfectly, with the exception of "foolishly" I don't believe my ideals are in any way, shape or form foolish; lofty at times, maybe, but foolish, not me.

When I was younger, and I would guess when most of us where young, I was quite quixotic. I was positive I would meet the most perfect mate, have children, travel the world and live happily ever after. The mate part was not meant to be. I believe as we get older, our ideals change. Not just sometimes...all the time. As adults, we learn to adapt to changes quicker and with less stress. But there is one ideal that has been with me since I can remember: loyalty from friends. My quixotic expectations of friendship has lead me to disappointment at times, but for the most part, I have been blessed.

I consider my loyalty to my friends one of my best traits. I would do anything for those closest to me, any time, any place. No questions asked. That's just the way I am. However, and this is my shortcoming, I expect the same in return. I have learned to knock that off. It's not that I expect less from my closest friends, it's just that I've learned not to be hurt when the same ideal is not reciprocated. I've grown up. How about that?

There is are a few quixotic pursuits I will never give up: happiness, passion, friendship, just to name a few. And of course...more cruises.

When All Else Fails....

I had a really good Mother's Day and I hope all you mom's that are reading this had an enjoyable day as well. My mom and I spent the day together and Stephen and Brett called me. This was my first Mother's Day without them here. The picture above is the Mother's Day card my mom gave to me. I think she's finally beginning to accept the Princess thing.
So my rambling for today is this: Is it ever okay to just settle for what you can get? When you know that what you really want is truly unattainable, is it alright to just accept second best, if it makes you happy? I'm not sure what context this question should be asked. It's somewhere between, I really want a diamond, but I'll settle for a ruby and I really would like to have a vanilla shake, but since McD's is out of vanilla, I'll take chocolate. I want to say, "yes, settling is okay, as long as you're happy" but what if the thing/person you settle for is not the top choice?
There are times when I want something so bad, it hurts. Selfish, huh? When I can't get exactly what I want, I seem to settle. Am I a lesser person, because I settled? At least I'm happy right?
Rest assured, I'm not looking for answers here...just pondering.
Another long week at work, albeit a short one, as I am off to Disney for "Girls Disney Weekend". Going to all the parks, drinking "Around the World" at Epcot and of course, hitting the piano bar in downtown Orlando. For this weekend, I settle for nothing.

Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy!

If I'm going to vent on this site, then I have to share the good too. Today was a great day! Probably one of the best I have had since I walked up the gangway on that gorgeous January day. I haven't smiled this much in a very long time.
In honor of my happy mood, I would like to introduce you to one of my best friends. He makes me so happy, even when I'm in my darkest places. His name is Max.
Max was actually given to Stephen and Brett by thier Dad 14 years ago. At the time, they were 7 and 4, and they loved to play with Max; however, when it came time to feed, bathe or walk him, yeah, they weren't into that. So Max became mine. Which, I actually didn't mind. He was and still is perfect: he doesn't talk back, he's clean, he is ALWAYS happy to see me, and most importantly, he loves me unconditionally.
When I was sick, going through the worst of the chemotherapy, there were times when I couldn't get out of bed, I couldn't eat, I just laid on the bed like a lump of coal. Max never left my side; he didn't get out of bed, he didn't eat; he stayed in that bed with me until I moved. When I got up, he got up and followed me where ever I went. It was as if he could feel my pain, my anger, my frustration. You can't find that kind of commitment everyday...even if it is from an animal.
To this day, he can sense when I'm down and tries to make me smile (which usually works). He knows when I'm happy and even though he's getting old and has a touch of arthritis, he jumps up and licks my face to share in my happiness.
Now I know there maybe a few of you thinking, "Damn girl, you need to get out more." Well, that maybe true, but even if I do "get out", I know I'll always have someone home waiting for me to put a smile on my face.
May you all have happy days ahead.

VENT!!

I promised myself I wouldn't use this blog as an area to bitch. Well, I'm not even a week into this, and here I am about to spill.
MEAN PEOPLE SUCK! Maybe it's an ego thing, but I truly dislike it when people are mean to me or dislike me for no apparent reason. Now if I have harmed someone in some way, then I would expect to be treated like dirt. But damn, why are people mean for no apparent reason? Do mean people wake up in the morning and say, "I think I'm just gonna be mean and nasty to everyone today", or is it a spur of the moment thing? I always told my kids, before you speak, you have a split second to decide what you will say and how you will react to other's words...use that second wisely. What's worse, is that some mean people can't even be mean to your face...they go behind your back and stick you with their nastiness. How wrong is that?
Rant over.

Word of the Week

So, I'm blogging early today, as this is going to be a long week for me and I don't know when I'll be able to blog again.
In an effort to always gain knowledge, as well as keep my old and tiring brain working, every Monday will be the Word of the Week. I encourage you to use the word of the week as often as possible. Like friends, you can never have enough vocabulary.

Plethora:from Greek plēthōra, literally, fullness, from plēthein to be full; excess, superfluity; also : profusion, abundance

Today, was a relatively good day for me. I had a plethora of meetings and assignments, which under normal circumstances would bum me out, but today was different. I'm not sure why, but hey, I don't look a gift horse in the mouth. Days like this are few and far between. In between my meetings, I was able to listen to my favorite disco station. Yes, I am a product of the 70's. I cried when disco disappeared;and the clothes were "way far out". The music allows me to escape the confines of my "cubbie", at least for a bit.

Can one have a plethora of life? Too much life? Too many friends, family, interests, places to go, people to see?

I only wish I had a plethora of cruises lined up.

By the way, I meant to mention this on my last blog. The scale in my bathroom is broke. It only knows 1 number. It's been the same damn number for the last month. I know there must be a plethora of numbers in there...why can't I see a new number?!

Thanks to all of you that commented on my first posts. I hope I continue to get better as the days go on.

Princess Elaine, the quiet and single

Try not to laugh too hard. Yes, that is my official name with my family, otherwise known as Big Ed's Evil crew. We are a group of regular folks that follow the musings of another blogger, John Heald, Sr. Cruise Director for Carnival Cruises. Big Ed is our illustrious leader and most of us have some sort of ironic royalty name. Throughout future blogs, you will hear me talk of the other royalty. Because of the ironic, comes the quiet and single. Those of you that know me well, know that I am single. When this title was created, the people of the crew knew nothing of me. Once they got to know me and actually meet me in person, they figured out the quiet was just bullshit.
I have taken the princess thing to a whole new level: I have a tiara that says Princess upon it (given to me by other Princesses in the crew). I wear the tiara every Sunday. My mother thinks I've absolutely lost my mind. My children won't talk to me when I wear my tiara, so I try to wear it whenever they visit. I've yet to wear it to work; that may be pushing it a bit.
My dad used to call me his princess. Then I turned 8.
Princess Elaine makes me feel I belong. Can therapy be far behind?

And So It Begins....

I have sleeping issues; I can't do it often. I decided to start this blog for those nights when the TV is filled with "Paid Programming" and the TV Guide channel has the most interesting show on. So instead, I will write. About what, I'm not sure. Give me time to learn how to do this. I may not have flashy pictures or U Tube (spelt wrong on purpose) videos right away, but I will work on it. I may rant and rave, or talk of the ironies of life...I hope I can keep your attention. Work with me.