Still Learning

I am of the belief that G-d has a purpose for all things under the sun. That's why elephants look the way they do, as well as rhino's and why some men insist on walking around the house in just their underwear and socks. There's a method to the madness. I learned this lesson when I was struck with cancer 9 years ago. During this time I learned not to question G-d. You'll never get an answer and asking "why" will just drive you insane. Since I was laid-off 6 months ago, I have never asked why; however, I have asked myself "what I am to learn from this?" I've done quite a bit of soul searching over the past few weeks, especially during the holidays, and here is what I have so far.

I've Learned to Be More Patient-Now, here, I thought I had this one licked. While working at my last job there were times when software had to be loaded on to servers. This could occur as quickly as 30 minutes or as long as 2 days. There were times when conference calls would go on for hours, where the discussion would just seem to go in circles. I had other, more important tasks that needed my attention! Going into this job, I was NOT the most patient person, but I thought I had learned my lesson. EH! WRONG! Being the control freak that I am (translation:anal), I always have my bills ready to be paid 3 months ahead of schedule. Now, having a limited income resource, I've had to learn how to "wait and see how things fall out". This has been most difficult, but I am a better person for it and will remember what TRUE patience is when all is said and done. But a harder lesson I've had to learn is...
How to Be Gracious-I am a very proud person. I don't like to be pitied or looked upon as a charity case. I've taken care of myself and my children on my own for most of my life. I don't like hand-outs. However, recently, I have been receiving gifts, such as boxes of food, e-mails from friends with links to job sites, MONEY, advice and other assorted presents...for no reason at all! Just out of the kindness of friends hearts. It's been hard for me to accept these gifts without my pride taking a direct hit. But I've learned that saying "thank you" and TRULY meaning it, are 2 different things. So to those friends out there who have been so kind in helping me, when I say thank you, know that it comes from my whole heart and soul.
A Mother Never Stops Worrying-You may think that I am referring to how I worry about Stephen and Brett. That's not the case here, for I am speaking of MY mother. Here I am at the ripe old age of ** and my mom is still worried about me. Daily. I would have thought by now, after all these years, she would not stop caring, but at least not have to be concerned about me. I was wrong. A mother's concern for her children never, ever stops. I only hope that one day I will be able to bless her without so MUCH worry. And lastly, at least for today...
True Happiness Must Come From Within-I haven't fully grasped this yet. I'm still working on it. But it's not a job, or a person or persons, or a cruise (although a cruise comes awfully close:)) No, I have to be happy with myself. This is a tough one for me. I feel as though I have been searching for this my whole life and I somehow have the notion that it's just around the corner, waiting for me to find it. Maybe it's just baby steps at first. I don't know.
So maybe the purpose of being laid off was for me to do some soul searching. To learn some important lessons. I don't know the answer. But I know, from experience, not to ask why.
Hang in here with me. I have a feeling the best is yet to come.

Happy New Year!!!

May the coming year bring happiness, good health and a dose of prosperity to us all!
I'm going to be taking some time away from the blog for a while. I've hit one of those "I Vant to be Alone" moods and I will be shrinking inwards for a bit. Hopefully by the time I'm ready to face the world again, I will have some happy news to share.
Until then...I bid you adieu.

Lasting Memories

I don't even know where to begin. I had such a great day with Stephen, Casey, Gavin and my Mom. It's not a day I will be forgetting too soon, that's for sure.
Gavin loved all his gifts. Especially the wagon. To see just how much fun he had, check out the pictures at http://picasaweb.google.com/PrincessElaine82
I found that if you hold his hands up in the air and say "Cruise ship" he laughs and giggles non-stop. I taught him the Gator chomp and he seemed to have liked that too.
Stephen and Casey are amazing parents. They are so good with him and you can tell how much he loves them. His eyes light up and he smiles a giant grin whenever they walk in a room. He has started eating baby food. While he likes the cereal, he's not so crazy about the fruit. In time, I'm sure. He sits up on his own and loves it when you read to him. He's also wild about peek-a-boo and patty cake.
It was hard leaving them. With the way things are, I'm not sure when I will get to see them again. But one thing is for sure...it will be a very long time before the memory of seeing them will fade from my mind and my spirit.
Happy Holidays to all!

Please Stand By....

I'm going to see Gavin tomorrow to celebrate his first Hanukkah. This trip is made possible by an angel watching over me. Please check back soon to hear the story and see some pictures!

Umm...I Think You Have the Wrong Person

Very interesting morning I had today. Last week my mom, who volunteers every morning at a local elementary school, told me that one of her teachers needed help grading papers. Would I be interested in helping this teacher? Sure, no problem. So I woke up early this morning (well early for someone that is unemployed) and off to school I went. I met my mom there and she introduced me to all her friends. Then we walked in to the classroom full of 2nd graders. Mom introduced me to the teacher and I said, "I understand you have some papers that need grading?" Whereby the teacher responded, "No. Actually you're going to help the students build gingerbread houses." I'm thinking to myself, "Oh my, no. You SO have the wrong person." As most of you already know, I am completely inept in a kitchen and with food. I know where the sink and the stove are located, yet I only know how to use one of them. Creative cooking to me is actually boiling the hot dog as opposed to microwaving it. As well, being of the Jewish faith I have no, none, zilch experience with gingerbread houses. This is usually a "Christmasy" activity of which I am totally unfamiliar.
Well, the teacher would have none of it. She scooted me off to the back of her classroom with milk cartons, graham crackers, 4 cans of icing, gum drops, chocolate chips, licorce, and M&M's. I took 4 students at a time and attempted to show them how to make a gingerbread house. It's a good thing they were 2nd graders, as I could only hold their attention for 5 minutes and they were hell bent on eating the candy as opposed to "decorating" their milk carton.
It was a comedy to be sure. And since I had so much fun, I'm going back tomorrow to help them make Christmas stockings. Now, clothes, I know!

For All Moms Out There...And Those Who Have Moms

I know this has been out a while, but I finally found it and had to share. Enjoy!

Looking Back...

As most of you know, the reason I haven't posted much in the past few months is because I haven't had anything happy to say. I wish I had some good news to share with you today, but alas, I don't. But I have been thinking back over the past year and while there have been MANY low points, there have been some great times too. Such as:

• The Blogger's Cruise-I finally got to meet all the wonderful people who have now become my family. I remember Lisa and I running around Jamacia trying to get all of our shopping done before we missed the ship.
• Girls Disney Daze-I can't remember the last time I drank so much in such a short period of time. Of course there was the "diddling of the duck", THE picture, THE video, and Jaime and Laura learned of my neurosis of trucks and ducks.
• The birth of Gavin Riley Scott-Such a day that was, oh vey! But in the end, I was graced with a beautiful grandson, of which I am so very proud.
• Those "HOT" 3 weeks-I might have been laid-off of my job, but the 3 weeks after that day will always give me goose bumps.
• My new home-I did not expect to be spending so much time in my new home, but I still love it each and every day.
• Gator football season-It's not over yet, but it's been a great season! I especially enjoyed spending Saturday mornings with Brett watching ESPN's Gameday and discussing the games of the day.

What good memories do YOU have of the last year?