Theme Song

For when life gets to be too much, I shall sing this....

I'm sailing away set an open course for the virgin sea
I've got to be free free to face the life that's ahead of me
On board I'm the captain so climb aboard
We'll search for tomorrow on every shore
And I'll try oh Lord I'll try to carry on

I look to the sea reflections in the waves spark my memory
Some happy some sad
I think of childhood friends and the dreams we had
We live happily forever so the story goes
But somehow we missed out on that pot of gold
But we'll try best that we can to carry on

A gathering of angels appeared above my head
They sang to me this song of hope and this is what they said
They said come sail away come sail away
Come sail away with me
Come sail away come sail away
Come sail away with me

I thought that they were angels but to my surprise
They climbed aboard their starship and headed for the skies
Singing come sail away come sail away
Come sail away with me
Come sail away come sail away
Come sail away with me

You're The First, The Last, My Everything - Barry White - From Ally McBeal (Season Two)

I'm amazed at the little moments that bring a smile to my face. Hope it makes you smile too.
I'll be back to blogging soon.

Work Much?

From Girl Scouts (yes, I was a Girl Scout) I learned many lessons. The most important one being that I would NEVER grow up to be a salesperson. I couldn't sell those cookies if my life depended on it. And at the time, it felt like it did. I remember my Mom was the "cookie chairman" for the entire Gainesville region. She and I ate more boxes of cookies than I sold. This is because the region's cookies were stored at our house.
I'm not going to go on and on about where I worked; but I will tell you this; I think I have worked many jobs, and I believe I have done them all to the best of my ability. I have been a cashier, a waitress, a cook, an assistant manager of a major pizza place, a teacher's aide, an administrative assistant, a human resources director, a data analyst, a graduate teaching assistant, a records clerk, a billing specialist, a clinic assistant, a manager of medical information systems and technology, and a training and implementation specialist. And while I may have enjoyed all these jobs, for I got to learn so much and meet some very interesting people, there was only 1 job that I truly loved: a Mom.
The hours were long (24/7) and the monetary pay was sparse. But nothing in this world has given me more joy and happiness than in the role I played as a mother. Those of you who have children will relate to this; being a Mom is just a title, for there are many other roles that are played under this umbrella: teacher, cook (I was not so good at this), laundress, chauffer, ethics and moral professor, police officer, maid, disciplinarian, nurse, doctor, driving coach, party planner and vacation planner just to name a few.
As I've said before, I have been blessed with 2 wonderful boys. I would be lying if I told you it was easy raising them, especially as a single Mom for most of their lives. Luckily, I had good friends and family that helped me along the way. But there is not one single, solitary moment of my life as a Mom that I would change for all the money in the world.
I know this job was not only the most special and hardest job I've ever had. I would like to think I did pretty well in this role. Not that the job is over, mind you. It's never ending. And I am so very grateful. As well, I have started a new job recently: Grandma. And I am having so much fun learning about this role.
As I am still unsure about what my next job will be, I take with me all that I have learned from previous positions and hopefully that will make me a better, more useful employee. As I eagerly search for that next job, I am comforted in the fact that I still am and always will be Stephen and Brett's mom.

Sex

Seriously? Did you REALLY think I was going to blog about this topic? Yes, I'm taking a journey. But, no, I'm not sharing this part.
GOTCHA!!

You're Moving Again? Is This a Joke?

I should have been born to a gypsy family. If after this blog you don't agree, I would be quite surprised.
My journey has taken me many places. I will blog about those another time. This blog is about where I lived and at the end, maybe, just maybe, you will still be interested.
I've lived in 36 different homes in 7 different cities and 3 different states. Watch this.
1. Rego Park in Queens, New York
2. Jamaica in Queens, New York
3. Georgetown Apts. Gainesville, FL (#62)
4. Georgetown Apts. Gainesville, FL (#54)
5. Brookwood Terrace Apts. Gainesville, FL
6. Pelican Blvd. Cape Coral, FL
7. Nobility (housing sub-division) Cape Coral, FL
8. Another house Cape Coral, FL
9. Grandma's house, Wilmington, DE
10. Cape Coral Pkwy. Cape Coral, FL
11. Glen Springs Manor, Gainesville, FL (#1)
12. Glen Springs Manor, Gainesville, FL (#2)
13. 43rd Street, Gainesville, FL
14. NE 39th Ave., Gainesville, FL
15. 43rd Street, Gainesville, FL
16. Georgetown Apts. Gainesville, FL
17. Bearss Ave., Tampa, FL
18. North Florida Ave., Tampa, FL
19. Carrollwood (sub-division) Tampa, FL
20. North Lakeland Lakeland, FL
21. SE Gainesville, Gainesville, FL
22. Georgetown Apts., Gainesville, FL
23. South Lakeland, Lakeland, FL
24. Woodbridge Apts., Lakeland, FL (#1)
25. Woodbridge Apts., Lakeland, FL (#2)
26. Brookwood Terrace Apts., Gainesville, FL (#1)
27. Brookwood Terrace Apts., Gainesville, FL (#2)
28. SE Gainesville House Gainesville, FL
29. Georgetown Apts., Gainesville, FL (#1)
30. Georgetown Apts., Gainesville, FL (#2)
31. Cleveland Heights Apts., Lakeland, FL
32. House ??? Lakeland, FL
33. NW Gainesville, Gainesville, FL
34. My first house alone Gainesville, FL
35. Martin St., Indian Harbour Beach, FL
36. Timpoochee Drive, Indian Harbour Beach, FL (coming soon!!)
Whew! So, what I've I learned from all this? Well, I certainly have packing down to an art form. But looking at the overall picture, while trying to remember all these places, I've remembered the people I've met along the way as well as the events that occurred in many of these places. For example, my childhood friend Amelia (from #2 on the list) met one of my best friends from high school, Mark (I was at #11 at that time), fell in love and are now married. Interspersed through all these moves there was the very first time I got into a pool (#3), meeting the friend who has been in my life the longest, Lisa (#6), my first legal drink (#13) weddings (#18 and #26), babies born (#19 and #22), Bar Mitzvah's (#28 and #31), and my first cruise (#32). And I can't say enough about all the friends I have made along the way. The reasoning behind all the moves is an impossible feat to attempt to explain. But whether is was for good reason or not, I can say this for sure: it's been one hell of a move.

Swimming

Believe it or not, I was an Olympic swimmer. Well, almost. Remember the year Jimmy Carter decided to boycott the Olympics? That was to be my year. I had forgotten how important swimming was to my life.
I swam for 7 years. By the time I reached 11th grade I was burnt out and quit. As I think back on those days, I remember the fun of the meets: the shave down parties the night before the meets, sneaking out of the hotel room in the middle of the night for a little "fun" and meeting my first boyfriend, Drew Clark. And I cannot forget those dreaded practices. Up at 4:00 a.m, bike to the pool, 2 hours of lap upon lap, upon lap, ride the bike home, shower and dress, catch the bus for school, home, bike to practice, lap upon lap upon lap (sometimes when our coach when in an incredibly bad mood we would have to wear shirts, shorts and socks during the evening practices), bike home, dinner, and then homework. I remember, only now, how I used to do a lot of thinking during laps. While I was supposed to focused on the swimming and the technique, my mind would drift to the events of the day or of my life. When my parents got divorced, I can remember crying during laps. It's amazing the things you forget over time.
On some Friday practices, when there was not a meet the next day, for fun, the coach would let us play water polo...with a greased watermelon. Builds strength, you know. However, come meet time, it was all worth it.
Standing behind the starting block, stretching, getting the nerves out, or, trying to psyche out the person in the lane next to you. The starter says, "ladies, step up." At that moment I would picture every inch of the race.
Back then there was no such thing as a Nike swim suit to make us glide through the water. Just the old lycra. One year, since my city's team colors were orange and black, we had orange bathing suits: they were see-through. I swam some of my fastest times that year....and made sure someone was at the finish line waiting for me with a towel. Sorry, went off topic there for a moment. We had to WORK to get to the end of the swim. We had no help from our "suits". I take nothing away from the swimmers of today, but somehow, it all seems a bit too easy.
Believe it or not, I was a good loser. I never blamed anyone but myself for my losses. If nothing else, the losses made me a stronger competitor. It made me hungry to win the next time.
Since I left the sport, I can rarely get in a swimming pool without doing laps. I've yet to learn how to kick back and enjoy the water. Mom has suggested I join the local "masters" swimming team (masters=old folks). It's something to think about. But I can't imagine it would be anything like it was when I was younger. Except the winning of course...that feeling never leaves.

Marriage

When I was younger, I never pictured my wedding. All the girls around me did, though. The beautiful white dress, the rings, the cake, the vows...held no interest for me. I never thought I would ever get married; I just couldn't see "giving up" myself to anyone. But I did...not once, but twice.
It would be nice if I could say that my marriages failed because of the men I married. But that would be a lie. A HUGE lie. I've learned a few things about myself over the last 20 years; one of which is that I'm not an easy person to live with. As a matter of fact, I can be a downright bitch. For example, when I walk in the house from a long day at work, why is it that I can see the sink full of dirty dishes, but the men who have been in my life (children included) are blind? Don't get me wrong, my failed marriages were not about dishes, but different directions our lives were going. The first time, we were too young and the expectations ran high, on both our sides. We were forever disappointing one another. As for the second time, I take most of the blame. I didn't make life easy for him and I took him for granted...alot.
I just read the above paragraph. From the sounds of it, you would think I was miserable the entire time I was married to them. Oh, but I wasn't. From Mike I was blessed with the gift of 2 lovely and wonderful children. As well, I married into a terrific family with whom I am still close today. He taught me common sense and I taught him book sense. He turned me on to country music and Garth Brooks, (whose music I still love to this day), Pink Floyd and the Talking Heads. I learned to appreciate pick-up trucks and good ole' southern traditions. (like grilling corn on the cob while it's still in the husks). He taught me the ins-and-outs of baseball and I taught him that poopy diapers are a natural part of life for infants.
From Danny, I learned how to laugh out loud and not take life SO seriously. But at the same time, I'd like to think I showed him how to be an adult. Actually it was not I who taught him that, it was my children. He was a wonderful step-father and he continues to be an important part of their lives. Through his grand-dad he taught me about honor. He showed me how much fun camping could be, as long as there is a bathroom at the campground (I squat for no one!!) , And we both learned, at a huge cost, to be weary of people we don't know.
Obviously, since I am divorced from both of them, it was not all sunshine and roses. But in their own ways, at different times of my life, they both made me so very, very happy. And in my own way, I loved them both... passionately.
What I have learned from all this, is that even with the good times, marriage is just not in the cards for me. Don't get me wrong, it would be nice if I could find someone and fall in love again. I just think that that little piece of paper sets expectations too high; mine and theirs. I am happy to be on my own, knowing that when I get home the dishes will be cleaned and I will have no one to thank for that except myself.