My Story

As October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month and this is also the month, 8 years ago, that I found my mass, I feel compelled to blog on this subject.
I don't like to talk about my personal struggle with the "Big C". I'm always afraid people will think I am playing the "poor, poor, pitiful me" card. I don't have one of those cards. I am alive. I am still here. But I will share a bit of my story, but only as an avenue to inspire others to ensure they are getting the best possible care available. Keep in mind when reading this, that there have been TREMENDOUS strides in breast cancer treatment in the past 8 years.
I was working out at the gym on October 17th, 2000. (Yes, I DID workout back then). I had just graduated from UF in May of that year. I was getting ready to begin employment with a company that desperately needed a Human Resources director. I had found my dream job. While at the gym that day, I was laying face down on one of the machines. OUCH! I felt a sharp pain in my left breast. I went into the bathroom and put my hand to my breast, and there it was: not a lump. A LARGE mass had engulfed my entire breast.
While driving home, I tried to stay calm. I KNOW I had done my self-breast exam on the 1st (as I always had) and there was NOTHING there. There was no history of cancer in my family. Needless to say, I called my doctor as soon as I walked in the door. He wanted to see me right away. So, off I went. Still not panicked. Honestly.
Upon my examination, not only did the doctor see the mass, he saw a red streak running around my whole breast. Since my doctor happened to be a friend of the family, he quickly sent me to a surgeon. This is all in the same day, mind you. When leaving his office he said I shouldn't worry. It's probably nothing. So, off I went to the surgeon.
The surgeon looked at and felt the mass. (FYI: More men had touched my breast that day than had in the previous six months. Hey, you gotta have humor!) He looked concerned and wanted to do a biopsy as soon as possible. The only time he had available was 2 days later. 2 DAYS!? How could I be expected to wait 2 days?! But wait I did.
When I went in, he told me this would just be a "fine needle aspiration" (FNA). If liquid came out, the mass was probably benign. If no liquid appeared, further testing would be needed. I watched as he and his nurse put that needle in my breast. I felt nothing. And no liquid appeared. I lost it. But I had to hold it together a little longer because, since no liquid appeared, they would have to do a biopsy. Take some of the mass out and send it to a lab for staging. Of course at the time, I had no clue what staging meant. Because the mass was so large, he asked the lab for "STAT" results. STAT usually means as quickly as possible. In this case, it meant at least 10 days! 10 DAYS!?? While waiting for the results, this surgeon felt that surgery would be needed as quickly as possible. Whoa! Too much information at once. I needed to go home and digest all this and I would be back in touch with him.
I began making my phone calls. Mom, (who at the time was in Vermont) was catching the first available flight to Gainesville. My ex-husband, Mike, the father of Stephen and Brett. Phone call, after phone call. Eventually I called my best friend from high school, Mark. Told him the situation. He told me not to do anything until I heard back from him. He was going to call his mom who lived in Gainesville and worked for an oncologist who specialized in breast cancer. After talking to her (Debbie) she convinced me that with a mass so large, surgery at this point may not be the best idea. She arranged for me to see the doctor she worked for. I would have to wait 2 weeks. 2 weeks?!!
Eventually I got the call from the original surgeon. The biopsy results had come back. Me, being the unique and special person that I am, I couldn't get just a "normal" cancer. No, I had to get inflammatory breast cancer, a fast moving, very rare form of breast cancer. Of all the women that get breast cancer, .5% get my kind. Lovely. Not only that, but it was stage IV. That meant, in all likelihood it had spread to my lymph nodes and other parts of my body. Wonderful.
I kept my appointment with Debbie's doctor. His name is Dr. Carroll. And truth be known, the man saved my life. He suggested that instead of surgery ASAP, we try something called "neo-adjuvent" chemotherapy. That is, use chemo to shrink or maybe get rid of the mass before surgery. He said with a mass that was a big as mine, having surgery at that point could make the cancer spread quicker. With the help of my mother, we decided this sounded like the best route.
And so it went like this: 4 rounds of chemo, surgery, 4 more rounds of chemo (just to make sure all the cancer was killed) and 72 rounds of radiation (twice a day for 7 weeks, again, just to make sure). You should know that when it was time for the surgery, the mass was completely gone and nothing had spread to my nodes or any other part of my body (that we know of, anyway). I won't bore you with the gory details of chemo or radiation. Just know, it ain't much fun. As a matter of fact, I never made the last round of scheduled chemo. The 7th round brought my white blood count so low, I almost died. Therefore, it was felt my body would not be able to handle that last round. Was I bummed about that? Not in the least.
So, what's the point? The point is that a monthly self-examination is not enough. Have that mammogram every year like you're supposed to. If you have dense (not large, dense) breasts, or, have a family history of breast cancer have an MRI or ultra-sound. Insist on it! It's your body! You must be an advocate for yourself!
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.